Dear 31%, I miss you.

I have had a harder-than-usual time getting into a flow state. It’s likely related to the pandemic, having kids, a business location move, a personal move across the country, business changes (although good), financial changes (although good), life, disorganization, reorganization, refocusing, un-refocusing, creating, writing, exercising, not exercising, doing laundry, dinner, picking up the kids, doing dishes, and figuring out what tomorrow brings. Oh yeah… things are busy even when they’re “not.” Because they are.

Deep work (or flow state or focused time or whatever you want to call it) is limited to about 4-5 hours per day for most people. For the sake of tossing out a pointlessly-unmeasurable number, I’m going to call it my 31%.

My recent 31% seems to be consumed with figuring out how to best use it. Every project I start feels like it is met with roadblocks that represent other ways I need to spend the 31%. 

I go to work on finishing the music writing room and realize I can’t find my tools to do the project (largely because we just moved and many of my tools still live in a bunch of boxes). I start to unpack the boxes to find my tools surrounded by objects I need to sell or give away. As I start to create a pile of objects to sell or give away, I realize how little room I have. I start moving things around and realize it’s time to get the kids from school. We talk about their day, help them with homework, eat, get them to bed, and then I write a song on the piano. I start tuning the piano because we just moved it into the house, and it’s adjusting to its new environment. Oh yeah, it’s probably good to research what system I need to control humidity for the piano and guitars in my space before the changes start to cause problems. I go to bed.

The next day, I go to work on finishing the music room and realize I can’t find my tools…

Dear 31%,
I miss you.

I don’t think I have conquered my 31% in the past without help. I struggle at certain types of tasks, and I excel at others. When I’m a bit buried with too many options of tasks that all “need” my attention, I benefit greatly from a kickstart before I can take the reins and kick task booty (technically speaking).

My goal is for my headspace to be at a place where writing music and filming stock footage are easily-accessible and exciting. For all intents and purposes, the wandering state of task-completion I talk about above is only lacking when viewed from my anxiety and desire for everything to be completed immediately. If I’m kind to myself (which I’m really working on), the progress is real and significant. My goal of easily-accessible headspace is closer than it was yesterday. The 31% is already working.

Thankfully, I have support from friends and Carrie to help. This is my friendly reminder to myself to ask for help to get to the most rewarding and fulfilling parts of my 31%.